by Evie S., volunteer sidewalk counselor
Easter Monday, April 21 — It was the last shift of sidewalk counseling at the Uptown Planned Parenthood (PP) as a couple pulled into the driveway. The driver was facing the young man, using hand gestures and angrily telling him to not talk to me. But he stretched his hand out and asked what I had to give them. I told him this is what we give to pregnant clients in need and the blue one has all the pregnancy help centers in the state of Minnesota. I added a little more like, “Just letting you know that there’s lots of support for you guys.”
As they walked into the building, I saw from her body language that she clearly didn’t want anything to do with me, but he was a little receptive on the way in. The boyfriend came out to go to his car twice – he was on his phone and when I tried to get his attention with a friendly wave, he was kind of laughing like, “OK, whatever, weirdo.” When he finally got off of the phone, I was like, “Bro! I wanna hear your story! I want to know your situation so I can see how we can help!” He walked in saying, “Naw, I don’t have a big story.”
A few minutes after the end of my shift at 3:15, volunteer Leo M. and I were thinking we could leave and I told him I would chalk a little more before I go. (Writing messages on the public sidewalk like “Pregnant? FREE Help: optionline.org“) As I was chalking, the young man came out and I excitedly pressed him again, “I really wanna hear what’s going on with you guys!” He told me his mom just died two months ago and it’d be a different story if she were around to help them. He said that they’re Muslim and he was glad he found a girl that agrees with his “more traditional moral stances” and in the future, should she decide to have an abortion he’d be hurt. But now they’re in a difficult circumstance because his mom wasn’t around to help,. He’s dealing with grief and his girlfriend’s parents are in a different country (and thus not able to help).
He also mentioned that in their culture it’s really taboo to have kids before marriage. I said there’s ways to explain things with tact and if people don’t accept your child, that’s on them, but the sin of fornication has already happened. You cannot undo that, but killing a baby is the worse sin and if others don’t understand that then their priorities/morals are askew. I explained that this child that’s about to be killed is a unique person that can never be again.
I told him about post-abortion regret and grief. He said, “Yeah, I don’t want this and I wanted her to talk to you!” I asked him if he told her he would support her if she kept her baby, and he said, “I told her I would support her whatever she decides.” I said women who have had abortions say that if their significant other would’ve encouraged them to have their baby and said that he would support/provide for her, they would have kept their baby. A guy saying “I’ll support you whatever you choose” actually puts the weight of choice back on her shoulders and she doesn’t have that freedom.
I again mentioned all the services that that the pregnancy help centers offer. I also told him that if they choose life, my husband and I will do whatever we can to help, like babysitting or throwing a baby shower. I told him our community will bend over backwards and be the community they need so they don’t feel like it’s a burden. He interrupted and said “It’s not a burden!” to which I agreed and said, “Yeah, it’s a life! And you can save your son or daughter’s life today! This is life or death right now. It’s a big choice and you have that in your hands right now because you are the person that holds the biggest sway in her life right now! So go in there and talk to her!”
And he did! I decided to stay later and chalk even if it was way past my shift time. I noticed that Leo was still there on the other side of the fence (he parked close by and must have seen that a conversation started and began praying for us!) He left and I kept chalking. When the couple came out, I excitedly asked what happened. I didn’t really understand what he said, so I asked, “Did you take the abortion pill?” and he said “No! We’re keeping it!” I responded, “Oh my goodness, I’m so happy for you guys! I have a baby gift in my car; can I run and get that for you?” He agreed so I ran all the way to my car, parked close to the driveway, and out of breath I ran up with a blanket and two girl onesies. I repeated how happy I was for them. He agreed to take my number. I reiterated, “Whatever you guys need, even if it’s like a phone call of reassurance, babysitting, whatever, feel free to call or text!” They both looked pretty happy and he told me, “You saved one today!” I was just beaming.
